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Last summer, during one of my many consults, I was 'gowned up' and waiting for the doctor to return when I saw it--the large computer monitor with my test results. Albeit a large screen, I couldn't quite read the results from the examination table. I leaned forward--it didn't help. I resisted and reasoned: They're my results; it's about me; it's my property; I have a right to look at them. I gave in, got off the table with the stealth of a spy, then read them--Grrr, I've already seen these on-line, if only I could scroll down to see more. Where's the mouse? It was nowhere on the desk. I got back on the table and saw it--the mouse and keyboard were on the pull-out desk tray. I resisted and reasoned again: They're my results and the doctor always knocks before entering which will give me plenty of time to get away from the monitor and back on the table. Again with surreptitiousness, in a hospital gown that was a size too small I crept to the desk and with one finger began to daintily pull out the tray when a loud BONG-DING-BONG went off through the speaker overhead. My heart kicked into high gear and I was ever so thankful I had already returned the heart monitor. Really, this place is so high tech the desk trays are wired for movement. How am I going to explain this? raced through my mind in the nan-second it took me to get on the table before I heard: Will Dr. So-And-So please report to.... When my doctor returned, she thoroughly went through all my results and there was nothing new. She wanted me to be an informed patient--there were no secrets. The next week, I had a test ordered to evaluate me for asthma (the day before I had told the doctor I would do them, but was sure they would come back normal). As the nurse began to explain the test it seemed all to familiar,"I'm pretty sure I did this test yesterday." She pulled up my records and confirmed that I had already done the test. She then had me breathe in a tube device and again I stated that I felt like I'd done the test, this was the third separate time I'd been asked to breathe into a tube device. She explained that baseline info was needed for the test, and got out a small glass vial..."Does that stuff taste really nasty? I think I did this test the week of the 24th." She pulled up my records and results and said, "Let me call the doctor," then hurriedly left the room. I could hear her on he phone across the hall--the computer monitor was just inches away with a mouse in full view; I was in street clothes that fit. This was my chance!
Results: normal
I didn't have time to read more to see if I had the lungs of a stealth-like super hero--didn't want to chance it because the door was wide open. In the end, there was no charge for the 'testing' and I got to keep the ever fashionable nose clips. I've given up peaking--even at my on-line records and results--it has in no way been advantageous.
Results: normal