02 03 The Next Step: I’m a Hypo-Hypo 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

I’m a Hypo-Hypo

white-knuckling the broomstick

I’m exhausted. I’ve been exhausted for a while... for years really. In the spring of 2012, I was exhausted, per usual--and with great frustration, sucked up a few ounces of energy to implore the help of doctors to uncover the cause of my extreme fatigue. Many tests revealed: not anemia, not thyroid, not mono. All was normal--except my energy level.
   Not to be undone by feeling drained, I participated in Tulip Time festivities. One afternoon, we were waiting to scrub streets and a friend offered to introduce me to Governor Brandstad who was just yards away. Never one to pass up an experience I agreed and then the darkness started closing in, I could feel myself collapsing...I was mortified that I might pass out in front of hundreds of people and clutched my broomstick to keep upright. A few moments later I was introduced to the governor, we posed for a picture while I prayed I wouldn’t collapse on him.
   After scrubbing streets my niece wanted cotton candy and I offered to get it with her-- it would allow me an opportunity to sit and rest after the two block workout, while the rest of the family walked to our parade viewing spots. The next day I could barely walk through two tents at the Dutch Market without having to hold onto each display case; I had to call for someone to pick me up.
   This seemed like more than 'tired' so I made a doctor’s appointment and had blood drawn. They called me that afternoon to have the blood work redone. The next day, I got a call stating my iron was extremely low and I needed an iron infusion as soon as could be scheduled. I was thrilled that I’d be feeling perkier in a few months.
   Still feeling drained in August, when the iron should have kicked in, I was told I had hypothyroidism. Once again my pipe dream of energy surfaced. For fifteen months, I had vague moments of energy, but continue to be wiped out, so last month when I learned I’m also chronically hypoglycemic a lightbulb went off (albeit dim due to lack of energy): I had the trifecta of exhaustion: low iron, hypothyroidism and hypoglycemia. No wonder I'm exhausted: I'm a hypo-hypo.

Phillip, the Hyper-Hypo--SNL

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