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**Disclaimer: This post deals with body fluids...read at your own risk.** Did you really think I could go through 9 days of testing without body fluids being involved? At my first lab stop at Mayo, the moment I saw the jug I knew I was in for a 24-hour urine collection. I looked at the tech and said, "Is it for the 5-HIAA, because I had guacamole last night--so I can't start tomorrow." Hoping the tech would catch on to the fact that this wasn't my first 24-hour urine collection for carcinoid syndrome, but was hoping it would be the last. She referred to the booklet (you know it's serious when there's a booklet of instructions, not just a sheet of paper) and the forbidden food list, "How much?" she asked with hesitancy. "Probably half a portion." She hemmed and hawed--I realized that I'd invested a lot of prayer, money and time into my Mayo Clinic visit, been off medications for months in preparation and didn't want a half serving of guacamole to skew the results--I'd abstain from avocados, walnuts, tomatoes, plantains, etc. for three days. I hadn't had a plantain in years and since it was a kissing cousin to the banana, didn't foresee ingesting either of the cousins anytime soon. Thirty-six hours later I was looking at the giant jug, contemplating when to start; timing was of the essence. "Do you have to fill the whole thing?" Beth asked. "No, I wouldn't even want to try--I can't get over the pull-top spout, it looks more like a container for liquid laundry soap, but I wouldn't be able to smell the difference." [At this point coffee and urine are in the same scent genre for me...it makes for confusing mornings.] My mental mulling began: Thursday would be three days without the forbidden foods, except for an accidental daub of ketchup, half a peanut and half a walnut. I didn't want to wait three more days and make an eight hour round trip for a jug of urine. Beth wouldn't be with me on Thursday, which was good because I think carrying my body fluids in a giant jug is something a friend shouldn't have to do. If I started Thursday morning, I would be able to turn it in Friday morning and results might be ready for the follow-up later in the day. I didn't want to start the collection too late on Thursday--or too early Wednesday night because I wasn't exactly sure where I might be 24 hours later. There were too many variables. Then it came to me, I struck a pose and said to Beth with a wry smile: "To pee or not to pee that is the question." 24-Hour Urine Test for: fractionated metanephrines histamine catecholemines 5-hydroxyindoleacetic acid Results: Normal
