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My appointment on Tuesday didn't go as I planned and I came to realize that my timeline of feeling completely well by August may not be God's timeline. Truly, if I knew God's timeline and how long feeling completely well would take, I would probably fully give up (right now, I've given up for hours at a time). In several ways this week God has shown me that waiting is passive or active -- and how I wait is my choice. I know that I need to wait expectantly with a heart full of hope knowing and trusting that God will answer SUDDENLY, but passive is so much easier than active and requires so much less of me. I can't count the number of hours that I wore pajamas as clothes or clothes as pajamas and it seems my pillowcase has turned into a giant tissue. When I'm so exhausted and the temperature is at 100 degrees, it's so much easier to be passive. Today when I woke up my first thought was a passive: "What's wrong with me? Why isn't there an answer?" Then, I reminded myself that I needed to be active: "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad. I know that God is working things out for me so that whatever is going on in my body will be figured out. I know God is healing me and setting up divine appointments for me. I know there is an answer and God's timing for my life is the best timing." But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall changeandrenew their strengthandpower; they shall lift their wingsandmount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faintorbecome tired. Isaiah 40:31 Amp.